Month Five

My voice reads consistently as male at this point.  On the rare occasions when my voice (over phone or intercom) is read as female, I suspect that it has more to do with my female-patterned and expressive speech than on my actual pitch.  Oh well–I refuse to be monotone.

I feel like my face has started to lose some of the puffiness it’s had for a few months, and I’m so very relieved by that.  I’m getting a few more mustache hairs, and my cheeks have more fuzz on them.  More of the same, really.

Since I haven’t been working out as I’d planned, there hasn’t been an increase in muscle mass.  My chest and stomach are definitely hairier, and a few more odd hairs have shown up on my back (!!!). The hair on the tops of my feet and arms has definitely gotten longer and darker, too.

My sex drive is still lower than when I first started my transition.  My dick has probably quadrupled in size, and I’ve had a harder time getting used to it than I thought I would.  It still throws me off whenever I see it or touch it, and I’m strangely self-conscious about it.  I’m hoping this will change for the better soon as well.

Over the past month or so, I’ve had to accept that there are some things about being on testosterone that I don’t like.  It was hard to do, considering what I went through to begin HRT.  I’ve had to accept that I experience emotion differently, and it’s harder for me to talk about my feelings.  I’ve been making a conscious effort to try to be more at home in my mind and body.  It seems to be working, since I’ve been able to cry again, and I’m having an easier time with verbal and textual communication.