(trans)prose

It’s 153 days post-op. At this point, I don’t really mark the passage of time anymore. I am certainly not taking my new chest for granted, though. We don’t really get a spring down here; it’s always just summer all of a sudden. 

I’m not completely comfortable having my shirt off around strangers yet, but I occasionally drive home from work without a shirt on, or scurry out to check the mail in only some pajama bottoms.

But there’s nothing like walking or riding a bike or sitting outside on a hot day without four layers of lycra binding down over 6lbs of breast tissue.

Additionally, I think I’m starting to regain some sensation in my right nipple–although just barely. The only feeling I get is slight pain/discomfort when it’s pinched or rubbed firmly, such as when I am massaging shea butter onto my chest.

There’s a spot on my left nipple (just where the nipple meets the areola) which tends to be irritated due to a single hair that tries to push through in that area.

At day 120 post-op, almost half of my incisions are mostly flat and pale pink.  There are a few pretty red areas, and there is a short segment on my right incision, under my nipple, that’s quite raised and red.

Contrast and redness are exagerrated in photos, especially in the case of my nipples.

I’ve been slacking a bit on the scar treatment; I’m down to shea butter once every day.

Almost all color has returned to my nipples. I’ve been thinking of getting my right nipple pierced at some point, because it’s not quite as perfect as my left nipple, and I suspect it’d distract from their differences.

At this point, I consider my chest fully healed.  I’m finally comfortable doing all of the things I did pre-op.  I sleep on my stomach, I can reach high above my head, and I can lift heavy objects.

I had thought all the sutures had been excised, but I discovered one last centimeter a week or so ago.  It came out when I was scratching an itch on my left side.

Already, some sections of my scars have faded significantly.  The areas that bore the brunt of the suture reactions are red and slightly raised.  I’m worrying about it, of course, but I’m trying to bear in mind that this is supposedly the time when my scars are at the height of their thickness and redness.  Hopefully, it’ll all be downhill from here.

During showers, I massage my chest firmly, making sure to move the skin in all different directions.  I’m hoping this will increase blood flow and encourage nerve regrowth, as well as break down and smooth out the scar tissue.

I’m continually reminding myself that although I’m past the initial stages of healing, I should expect my chest to improve over the long-term.  Anecdotal evidence suggests that sensation returns over a period of years.  It’s much too soon to tell if I’ve suffered permanent nerve damage.  Much of my right pec is still numb, although I can usually feel pressure.  My left pec is a bit better, but nowhere near where I’d like to be.