(trans)prose

Another shot day.  It feels like it’s every fucking day.  If Nebido (or whatever they’re going to call testosterone undecanoate, since the FDA has decided that “Nebido” is an unsuitable name) is approved on September 2, and if it’s available right then (obviously not the case), then I’ll have 10 shots left, including today’s.

I wonder how long it takes for newly-approved drugs to be covered by insurance companies.  I can only imagine how much each dose will/would cost me out-of-pocket.

But whatever it is, I’d find a way to pay it.  An 8-12 week shot cycle.  Can you imagine?!  That is–at minimum–two months without having to do the grunt work of maintaining this body.

I wonder sometimes, about what would happen if I just stopped doing shots.  Would I lose my beard?  My back hair?  Would my voice rise a bit?  Would I lose some of my belly?  Would I get weaker?  Would my anxiety increase?  Would I have a regular period?

I don’t know if I could handle menstruating again.  I didn’t mind it too much when I did it every month, but now the idea freaks me out, kind of a lot.

If a long-lasting injection isn’t an option, I’ve been looking into TestoPel, which is the only FDA approved testosterone pellet.  The only doctors who do it nearby are urologists.  They’re covered by my insurance, but I don’t know whether they would be willing to treat a trans male patient.  It would be quite expensive, considering I’d have to have a lot of blood work done at first, plus whatever the cost of the medication is and the cost of the procedure.  I’m going to get as much information as I can, though, because more options is better.  Supposedly, each dose can last up to 6 months.

Options like this would, I think, improve my quality of life significantly.